The End - 2000 to 2009

Looks matter, no matter what!

  • Author: MR
  • Filed under: Islam
  • Date: Jun 7,2006 | 11:34 PM

We all know the famous saying of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) about marrying a woman for her beauty, status, wealth and piety. We know that piety is the most important. We all say, wealth and status doesn’t matter that much. What about beauty? His or her appearance? I’m going to be straight up with you guys, beauty matters for me. Beauty matters for everyone. It’s human nature! Stop denying it.

I’m sure you know people that say, “oh I don’t care about looks”, and your like “yeah right”. Maybe your that person that says that. Be honest with yourself and accept this. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was smart when he said that. He knows us. He knows that we are attracted to beautiful creations, whether it would be flowers, scents, food or people. We attract to things. That’s just how it is.

A successful marriage can’t succeed without attraction between the husband and wife. Remember, piety comes first.

Why did I post this? My friends and I were having this discussion and they realized that at first they had the attitude of ‘looks don’t matter’, but then they came to there senses and realized that it does. So maybe someone will read this and stop playing games with minds and start being real with themselves.

Oh yeah. One more thing. Beauty doesn’t necessarily mean outer appearance. Beauty is a general term and different people are attracted to different things.


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  • 19 Responses for "Looks matter, no matter what!"

    1. Bliss June 7th, 2006 at 11:54 pm

      lol.

      So you really don’t think there is any1 out there that doesn’t care about one’s beauty?..physical beauty?..

    2. S June 8th, 2006 at 6:04 am

      Salaam,

      I agree with u…
      even if we say tht we dnt care abt looks and appearance, deep down in our mind we do still get drawn to the beautiful things, but we dnt realize wht we are doing,

    3. Hajar June 8th, 2006 at 6:19 am

      I was at an Imam suhaib webb talk, and he was talking about marriage and he mentioned that beauty and attraction are important factors but that you shouldnt base your judgement mostly on them, but on how pious a potential is.

      As to videos [haha. total subject change], I have “clean” al mu’allim, supplication and mother at youtube. :) >

      http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=Nuralhuda

      still trynna find hasbi rabbi without 6000 different watermarks on it. :rolleyes:

    4. Balqis June 8th, 2006 at 7:46 am

      Yeah, u have the point, somehow.

    5. shabana June 8th, 2006 at 11:33 am

      brooklyn is the code verification? i live in brklyn- hehe dont forget that beauty lie in the eyes of beholder and not in the thing itself-

    6. Ukhti June 8th, 2006 at 11:49 am

      Assalamu Alaikum.

      You got a point akhi but it’s different from person to person who they’re attracted to.

      But I was thinking… Maybe you think a girl is attractive but your friends don’t necessarily think the same. I don’t know I just don’t think it’s possible to measure beauty.

      Of course you can’t live with someone you think is “ugly” but as you said earlier piety comes first.

      Anyway I heard this very relevant hadith from someone and just found it on the net:

      “One day, a beautiful woman by the name of Jamila, daughter of Abi Ibn Salool, came to the assembly of Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) and said to Him: “O prophet of Allah, nothing can make my head and his (her husband’s head) to be together in one place.” Then she went on to describe how ugly and repulsive she found him to be in appearance. The Prophet asked her if her husband had given her anything as dower. Jamila informed him that he had given her an orchard of dates as her mehr. At this the Prophet asked her if she was ready and willing to return the orchard to him. She replied, “Yes, that and more!” At this he said, “Not more, not more.” Then the Prophet sent for her husband, Sabit bin Qais, informed him of his wife’s feelings and intention and conducted a divorce between them.”

      http://www.islamicaweb.com/forums/showpost.php?p=121030&postcount=28

    7. h.ahmed June 8th, 2006 at 1:25 pm

      beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    8. Ukhti June 8th, 2006 at 1:55 pm

      h.ahmed on June 8, 2006 at 1:25 pm said:

      beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

      Yeah that what I tried to say but I didn’t know how to translate that to English 😉

    9. Reggae Powered DC2 June 8th, 2006 at 5:34 pm

      Beauty matters to me, Status and Wealth dont. In some other blog or something, someone wrote we should look at beauty before piety. If the person looks good to us, look at thier deen and then decide and if we dont like the way they look, walk away.

      He said if we were to look at their deen and then their beauty, if we find pious women who didnt look good, and walked away, we would be putting beatuy above piety.

      Makes some sense.

    10. Imran Khan June 8th, 2006 at 5:42 pm

      Dear Mr. Ryder,

      At the end of your entry, you use a meaning of beauty that I dont believe we were talking about in our discussion that night.
      As far as non-physical types of beauty go, there is no question that people look for and definitely should look for this in a spouse. We all generally want to see our mates as posessors of beautiful character, and this is Deen itself, because at the height of the scale fo beauty is the man who was told “Verily you are of a great morality” Peace be upon him.
      This must have happened to some1 else, or maybe many people. You meet someone, and at first you don’t find them attractive, but their actions are so adorable to you that you soon find yourself attracted to them because they do really neat things or have a very beautiful character.
      As far as physical beauty goes, we all know that we have been poisoned with ads, magazine covers, billboards and t.v. in many ways, one of which is this extremity in physical looks, and so our standards have gone really high in this department, and for that reason I think we have to kick back a gear or two and realize this already known point when choosing a spouse….also worthy to note that the Prophet Peace Be Upon him was the most beautiful person in terms of beauty, Yusuf, peace be upon him, lived in this world in his full beauty, but Allah only showed a glimpse of the beauty of His Beloved, for if he had shown the whole of it, no eye could bare it…P.S. not everyone can be a “Jessica Alba Sahib”

    11. Gumbo June 8th, 2006 at 5:58 pm

      he’s right. looks matter no matter what.. subhanallah. we can trick ourselves trying to believe it doesnt. but we all know we wouldnt marry anyone we ourselves were not remotely attracted to.. -sigh-

    12. Reggae Powered DC2 June 8th, 2006 at 8:33 pm

      Reggae Powered DC2 on June 8, 2006 at 5:34 pm said:

      Beauty matters to me, Status and Wealth dont. In some other blog or something, someone wrote we should look at beauty before piety. If the person looks good to us, look at thier deen and then decide and if we dont like the way they look, walk away.

      He said if we were to look at their deen and then their beauty, if we find pious women who didnt look good, and walked away, we would be putting beatuy above piety.

      Makes some sense.

      I think I messed that up?

      The person said look at beauty then deen. If the beauty is good, then the deen will be the deciding factor.

      But if you choose to look at deen first, and its good, but then the beauty isnt, and you walk away … then you are choosing beauty over deen.

    13. mujahideenryder June 8th, 2006 at 10:18 pm

      Imran Khan on June 8, 2006 at 5:42 pm said:

      Dear Mr. Ryder,

      At the end of your entry, you use a meaning of beauty that I dont believe we were talking about in our discussion that night.
      As far as non-physical types of beauty go, there is no question that people look for and definitely should look for this in a spouse. We all generally want to see our mates as posessors of beautiful character, and this is Deen itself, because at the height of the scale fo beauty is the man who was told “Verily you are of a great morality” Peace be upon him.
      This must have happened to some1 else, or maybe many people. You meet someone, and at first you don’t find them attractive, but their actions are so adorable to you that you soon find yourself attracted to them because they do really neat things or have a very beautiful character.
      As far as physical beauty goes, we all know that we have been poisoned with ads, magazine covers, billboards and t.v. in many ways, one of which is this extremity in physical looks, and so our standards have gone really high in this department, and for that reason I think we have to kick back a gear or two and realize this already known point when choosing a spouse….also worthy to note that the Prophet Peace Be Upon him was the most beautiful person in terms of beauty, Yusuf, peace be upon him, lived in this world in his full beauty, but Allah only showed a glimpse of the beauty of His Beloved, for if he had shown the whole of it, no eye could bare it…P.S. not everyone can be a “Jessica Alba Sahib”

      Dear Mr. Khan,

      I know, but some people are attracted to different hings even in physical appearance. Maybe person X may have a big nose, but to persy Y, its a hot nose. That’s what I meant.

      😀

    14. OECD June 9th, 2006 at 4:07 am

      But I still think that you can ‘like’ someone simply because you find their character/actions/morality beautiful, despite the fact that that person is not ‘good looking’. Perhaps the hadith that you quoted was a reminder that at the end of the day, you can only be happy with a spouse of high moral character, and not high cheekbones…altho if they both come in the same package, high cheekbones is definitely an added bonus. I think in today’s society, many muslims misunderstand the hadith and think that this is a justification for them to look for outer physical beauty only, because, hey, lets be honest, we’re only humans and we like beauty. Today’s pop-culture has set really high standards for what it means to be ‘beautiful’, and not much emphasis on character.

    15. Zahhra June 9th, 2006 at 6:59 am

      Simple as

      Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!!

    16. Evitable June 10th, 2006 at 4:59 pm

      yeah, but sometimes you marry someone, who you dont find beautiful to but everyone else almost does. Now that sucks!

      In that case you gotta look at other things: character, piety.

      I so agree with looking at beauty first(cause for me looks did matter a whole lot).

    17. Safiyyah June 11th, 2006 at 12:43 am

      Salaam,
      Historically, it seems men have always been more inclined towards appearance and outward beauty, whereas women are more concerned with a man’s character, financial and employment status, etc. I don’t know whether that remains the case today.
      By the way, your final statement on the meaning of beauty seems to contradict the rest of your post.

    18. Mujahideen Ryder June 11th, 2006 at 12:54 am

      Safiyyah on June 11, 2006 at 12:43 am said:

      Salaam,
      Historically, it seems men have always been more inclined towards appearance and outward beauty, whereas women are more concerned with a man’s character, financial and employment status, etc. I don’t know whether that remains the case today.
      By the way, your final statement on the meaning of beauty seems to contradict the rest of your post.

      the last statement was suppose be different from what i mean, becuase i know ppl were gunna say things like “there is inner beauty, and ppl can be attracted to that.”

      im jusy saying that, that physical outer beauty attraction has to be there.

    19. AS June 12th, 2006 at 1:11 pm

      I think that only a few people can claim that physical beauty doesn’t matter at all. And those people are very spiritually high people, whose hearts are unveiled and all they see is the bigger picture, the Hereafter.

      I remember that when the Soviets were attacking Afghanistan, one of the Russian general’s said that fighting them was very hard because “everytime they looked down our gun barrels, they saw Heaven”. When people reach a level where they are constantly in rememberance of Allah, what they see in this world is no longer the same. Think of Neo in the Matrix. 😛 He saw things very differently than everyone else. But in general, I agree with MR, for not everyone can be ‘The One’. 😛

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