Ana

I strongly disagree with your point MR. It’s entriely up to the person how he uses (or abuses) those matrimonial websites. I personally found my other half through muslima.com and have been living happily since then alhamdulillah. Every one and everything in this dunya has shortcomings…

WA

A few thoughts:

1.) I kindly disagree with MR on whether Facebook is better than these websites or not – because essentially they are the same. The amount of details you get from Muslima.com or Facebook.com is dependent on what the person decided to put up about themselves, whether it be visual or written details.

2.) All websites have various degrees of photo control, and even then its really up to the individual (man or woman) what to put up. If you’re a muhajjabah, then you’ll put up hijabiified pics of yourself as you are out in public, of course.

3.) I’ve been on plenty of those sites before, I have indeed come across quality people and matches, so they definitely exist. I know plenty of people personally who are on those sites as well. And out of the six-and-something billion people in the world, there are six-and-something billion different personalities. You find out a lot about people by reading what they’ve written about themselves, what personality profile they fit into – in fact a former site MuslimMatrimonialsNetwork (MMN) which I believe is now folded into Muslima.com, it had Dr. Hartmann’s color personality profile available for free for every member and it was freakishly accurate, in fact I’d say its hands down one of the most accurate personality profile tests out there. You just can’t get that on Facebook.

4.) People join for all sorts of reasons. Some people, like me, join because we like having multiple access routes for finding a suitable partner. Although I live in the Toronto area which is one of the four biggest Muslim population centers in North America, that cannot be the only market I look in for a prospective spouse. Why should I deny myself all the other major cities and population centers? So of course, I’m gonna go through the aunty networks, the professional connections, the family and friends networks (which includes Facebook), I’ll go through the matchmaking services – both personally tailored ones and generic one like the matrimonial sites. Its just straight up statistics. I have a better chance of finding more suitable matches if I use all available options, rather than restricting the pool to just one or two areas / options.

5.) Some profiles are not serious at all, in fact I’ve come across plenty of profiles where the pic was of a sister that I personally know, but the profile was completely different location, personality, everything. i.e. – someone had lifted her pic from somewhere [either another matrimonial site or facebook] and then posted it on that profile, pretending to be her or just using that pic instead of their own. God alone knows their full intentions.

I agree that some of these sites are not ideal because there it is very difficult to find a potential match by just reading a 5 line paragraph about the person.

At the same time it can potentially provide a safe means to meet someone.

The problem is, it is very hard to see if the person who posted the profile is serious. Also it is way to easy to register and so people may feel shy to post details about themselves because someone they know who is not interested in marriage but really interested in poking fun might come across their profile.

May Allah give assistance and love to all

MR: One thing that’s absolutely true — you NEVER know who visits these matrimonial sites, because, in essence, you don’t know much about the people who started these sites. Who are they? What kind of crowd they attract? Who they advertise their site to for traffic? What school of thought (madhab) they adhere to?

Sometiimes we think these sites are as big AS THE WORLD — everyone from all over goes to them, so our chances our better.

But at the end of the day, it’s a small crowd. Real small.

So knowing who runs a matrimonial site, and knowing about them, matters. Because people flock to the name. And the reputation of these mat sites. I, for one, thought it was simple — go, post a profile, and pray.

But, after thinking about it, I see that it’s more complicated. In short, I agree, mats are wack.

Quest

im just at university right now,i love to have a good laugh now and then, you definetly need to enjoy life. However i feel the need to work hard to become successfull in my chosen field.

i see myself as someone people can easily get on with. but i do suck when in comes to filling out these sections about myself. i feel i can convey more of who i am by talking to some one rather than just posting it …

Ofcourse islam is a very big part of my life. Its helped me become a man of morals, if i were to put myself in black and white: i’d say im honest, very competitive, humble, humurous and very hard working when the time arises.

What am I looking for????????????????????????

someone who is essentially a good person.
she has got to have a knowledge of her religion and the real world. we need a balance to survive in this world…

has a real fire inside her to become a successfull person and she needs to be strong minded.

you’ve got to know where you want to go in life. you need to be able to relax aswell, having a good time and can go out and have new experiences.

I would like a Girl who is Trustworthy,Caring,Loving,Hardworking, Responsible and Faithful.
I would like some one who is between the Age of 17 To 22 Email me with Pictures
My Emai adress available on first page of
http://www.opdeshak.com
with Name: Umar Saeed Shah

My Cell Number: edited out